Dating Sighted and Blind Person

It is an article from Insight Magazine, a bi-monthly magazine for the blind. Produced and distributed by Resources for the Blind, Inc.


Dating
Excerpted from the “Top Ten Advantages of Dating Sighted or Blind People”
By Priscilla McKinley
www.nfb.org

Many of you have dated, are dating, or at least would like to date. Some of you may have pondered the question about whether or not to date a sighted or a blind person, as I have in the past. Sometimes I thought it would be easier to date a blind person, someone who could understand the challenges blind people face on a daily basis. Other times, I thought it would be easier to date a sighted person, someone who could lessen some of the challenges that go along with blindness. But then when in a relationship with a sighted person, I would start questioning why I was with this person and why he was with me. Is he with me because he likes to play the protector? Is he with me because he has low self esteem and doesn’t think he can get a sighted person? Am I with him because it’s nice to have someone drive me places when I’m in hurry or someone to read the newspaper for me? Am I with this person because I am afraid to be alone?

When in a relationship with a blind person, I found myself asking similar types of questions. Do we have anything in common besides our blindness? Am I in this relationship because I don’t think a sighted person could accept my blindness? If I stay in this relationship, how are we going to manage as a blind couple?

There are many reasons why people enter into relationships with others, and we as blind persons are just as likely to enter into relationships for wrong reasons. However, we can make this less likely by possessing self-confidence and good blindness skills. For example, I won’t be as likely to get into a relationship of dependency on a sighted person if I have access to readers and have good Braille and cane travel skills. Likewise, I won’t be as likely to enter into a relationship of safety with a blind person if I have the self-confidence to be blind on my own.

In other words, as in any relationship, you have to be happy with yourself before you can make another person happy. The better your blindness skills, the less your blindness becomes an issue in any relationship. Both sighted and blind persons will respect you more if you have self-confidence and good blindness skills.

“It is respectable to be blind. It is respectable to be blind. It is respectable to be blind.” If you keep telling yourself this, you will start to believe it. If you believe it, you will start to live it, which will positively affect your relationships with both the sighted and the blind.

It is important for all of us as blind individuals to analyze our relationships. I’m not saying you should get a microscope and examine each and every move you and your partner make, but you should ask yourself the following questions:

1. Would you still be interested in this person if the status of his/her sight changed? In other words, if dating a sighted person would still be interested if he/she went blind. Of if dating a blind person, would you be interested if he/she got his sight back?

2. Would you still want to be with this person if all of a sudden you could see?

If you are in a relationship and answered “no” to either of the above questions, you might want to get out that microscope and take a closer look, for you might be in the relationship for the wrong reason.

If you answered “yes” to both questions, then you have made it to the best advantage for dating a sighted or blind person – dating this person, sighted or blind, means being with the one you love. And isn’t that what really matters?